Two week post partum update
This week was a toughy for me emotionally. I got a big bout of the baby blues and struggled to cope mid week when he was just screaming and screaming in the middle of the day – he didn’t want to feed, or need changing or sleep – just scream. I found myself wishing for the toe curling pain of his latch just so the screaming would stop. Since then I’m trying to be more present and responsive before it gets to that screaming point.
I’ve found myself really doubting my abilities, I often feel like I’m not good enough for my baby. Someone posted this Buzzfeed about imposter syndrome on Facebook and it is pretty accurate! I know that this is all part of the first few weeks of baby blues so I’m hoping that these feelings will pass shortly, otherwise I do have access to counseling services which I will be taking advantage of.
I’m still quite sore around my incision. I’m alternating ibuprofen and paracetamol every 4 hours but still getting lots of aches. I’m also getting really bored of wearing pads now, I just don’t find them comfortable at all. Hopefully the bleeding will finish soon so I can feel more like myself again.
Height/Weight: The health visitor came on day 13 and we now have a height measurement of 54 cm. He has been a bit slow to gain his weight back. but on day 13 he now weighs 7lb 15oz again.
Routine: During the morning we’ve usually had appointments with the midwife or health visitor, or something else to do. This morning was the first where we didn’t have an appointment so I just stayed in bed to get some extra sleep until 11 while he was still sleeping. The afternoons are taken up by chilling and watching TV. Sacha will nap next to me on a pillow between feeds and when he’s awake I try to put him under the baby gym or in his Fisher Price baby swing for a bit of stimulation. I have also been using a ring sling if he is sleepy but not willing to nap, this seems to comfort him and help him to sleep while giving me some time to blog or tidy up a little although I have to be careful about moving about too much or he throws up.
We don’t seem to have a regular routine yet in the day, there aren’t many minutes between feeds, I just feed on demand. Sacha does seem to be less concerned by his nappy changes now. I can usually change him without any tears unlike last week where he was screaming every time. We’re still using bepanthan on any sore spots that crop up.
Sleeping: I’ve started to introduce an evening routine in the hope that he will settle through the night instead of the cluster feeding nightmare we had since we bought him home. Andy and I usually eat dinner about 6.30-7pm and rather than just sit around watching TV for the evening I’ve started to take Sacha upstairs to the bedroom and give him a warm cotton wool bath. This seem to help him chill out along with some skin to skin time and some baby massage with moisturising lotion.
He then still seems to feed a lot for the rest of the evening (until 1am) but for the last three nights this has resulted in good long sleeps once he does finally fall off. I’m using a woombie to swaddle him while he feeds during the evening to encourage him to sleep and let him know that it is night time. We’ve also done a lullaby playlist on Spotify to help keep the mood calm – I highly recommend the Rockabye Baby albums, The Clash one is probably the best. Baby gets soft lullaby music and you get the songs you know and love at the same time.
During the evenings with this new routine I try not to introduce any other stimulus, I don’t watch YouTube videos like I used to, I just keep myself occupied with silent things like Facebook, Instagram and Candy Crush. I stay in bed with him in the co-sleeper next to me to encourage him to sleep but still feeding as often as he wants. Hopefully his feeds will become more spaced out in the coming weeks so I can have some evening time downstairs again soon.
He still wakes up once or twice in the night, and the second time he is usually wide awake (about 4-5am) so hopefully that will become a bit later because that is very early for us!
Eating/Feeding: One big mistake I’ve made since bringing home from the hospital is resting one breast at a time for a couple of days. My nips were so sore, blistered and scabbed that I took to just feeding on one side and then I had to rest the other side a few days later because the same happened again. However, my midwife pointed out that this means he was only getting the lean milk, not the fatty milk that fills him up because I didn’t have enough time to build it up on the side that I was relying on. This has probably been the cause of the cluster feeding (not feeling full) and slowness to gain weight. I’m now back to using both sides and powering through with lots of Lansinoh cream. I guess my nips just need to harden, like your fingers do when you learn to play guitar.
He still fusses a lot when it comes to latching, he latches and lets go multiple times before deciding that he wants to stay on. Often screaming inbetween too. Hand expressing a little can help to encourage him but it doesn’t work every time. This is obviously putting a lot of strain on my nips and they continue to be sore and blistered no matter how much Lansinoh I use.
I’m still finding feeding very painful; latching on hurts like a hard pinch, then while he feeds I can feel the milk being pulled through. When he comes off he likes to pinch down with his mouth and pull and after each feed I feel sore from all the pulling too. Hopefully these pains are going to subside in the next week.
I now leak from the opposite side when I’m feeding which is hard to get used to! All of sudden you realise you have milk dripping down your side in the middle of the night during those 4am feeds.
Size: Sacha is still wearing newborn clothes, they do seem to fit him about right now, he no longer seems to pull his legs out and bunch them up in the body area. We are using size 1 nappies from Naty which are biodegradeable, I have a good stock of them so hopefully he doesn’t grow out of those too soon. Although, last night we had a lot of leaks – maybe because the nappies aren’t right, or maybe because he is still too small for them? I’m not sure.
Milestones: We get a few smiles in his sleep and he has been a lot more awake this week, eyes open and looking around. I’ve been trying to encourage him to stick out his tongue but no success yet!
A photo posted by Christinkerbell Sparkle (@xtinasparkle) on